


Another Time, Another Place

by omgitsaddyc



Category: Dragon Quest XI
Genre: Act 2 Spoilers, Act 3 spoilers, Angst, First Person, M/M, coping with loss, mention of depressive feelings, told through a journal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:42:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/omgitsaddyc/pseuds/omgitsaddyc
Summary: Erik comes to terms with El’s decision a year after the events of the beginning of Act 3.
Relationships: Camus | Erik/Hero | Luminary (Dragon Quest XI)
Comments: 16
Kudos: 21
Collections: Valenslimes Day 2021





	Another Time, Another Place

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Puffinpastry](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puffinpastry/gifts).



> Happy Valenslime 2021, Puffin!! I was so excited when I learned you were my slime-ee! I wanted to give the master of angst something related to that title, so I hope you enjoy!

I haven’t been the same since the day you left. I know I’m being selfish. As much as we all wonder what we could have done differently to change your mind, it wouldn’t have mattered. It wasn’t about us. It was about her. 

It wasn’t fair. Her death, you leaving...none of it. Life always had a way of giving me the short (or sometimes pointy) end of the stick, but it still stung worse and worse every time.

At least Mia’s okay. You’d be proud of her, I think. After she got well enough to get out of bed, she was chomping at the bit to go see the world. It was only fair that I took her, considering I’d already seen it all and she was finally…

She was finally better. All those years hating myself for what I’d done to her, and now it was finally over. My sister was back and more annoying than ever, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way. 

  
Well, it would have been better if you were there to see it, too.

It always comes back to you, and I hate that. I should be able to move on like everyone else has. Or maybe they haven’t, and they’re just better at hiding it than I am. I’d hidden my feelings away for years, and now I just can’t anymore. The dam broke and I’m too tired to try and fix it. So everyone else can just deal with me, until they don’t want to anymore. 

Until they leave. Like you did. Funny how people always seem to do that.

I try not to hold onto the bad feelings, because again, I know you didn’t leave just to spite us. But when you’re alone with your own thoughts for too long, your mind has a way of twisting everything until you feel like total shit. Mia really wants me to talk to the others about it. To work through it. I just can’t bring myself to do it, though. All I ever knew was running, and right now that’s the only thing that really brings me any kind of peace. I’ll face them all when I’m ready. Whenever that is.

Serena joined a traveling group of healers. They go around and train others so they can help in their own towns if something like this ever happens again. We’ve all seen more than enough of the end of the world, but it’s not a bad thing to be too prepared, I guess. She didn’t want to sit at home while everyone constantly reminisced about her sister, and I don’t blame her. Honestly, the last place I’d wanna be is Arboria. I’m glad she got out.

Surprising to no one, Sylv got back into show business. Except he doesn’t perform as much anymore. He had his own theater built in Puerto Valor, and he manages it alongside scouting for up-and-coming talent. I’ve been meaning to visit and catch a show, but...we’ll get there. Maybe once Mia’s finally enrolled in school.

Jade, Rab, and Hendrik went back to Heliodor. They were the lucky ones who got to deliver the news to your hometown. They have a holiday dedicated after you, now. Got an invitation but I couldn’t bring myself to go back there. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to.

They’re in the process of rebuilding Heliodor. Once that’s done they have plans to do the same to Dundrasil. I wonder if they would have asked you to rule. I wonder if you would have even wanted to. I’m beginning to realize there are too many places I don’t want to see without you around. 

Gemma started writing me. I don’t know how she found my address. Jade probably gave it to her when they were in Cobblestone last. She misses you a lot, and I guess she figured we could relate with that. I don’t know how much she knows about us, but by the tone of the letters I think it’s safe to assume she gets it. Misery sure does love company, but it still feels weird talking to her about you when I’ve never really met her. Guess that’s on me, but whatever. Details. Maybe when I finally get my head on straight I’ll swing by and meet her by the Emerald Coast for a picnic or something. I have a feeling Mia would really like her.

All of this traveling gave me a lot of time to think. Too much time, really. The last thing I need is to be stuck inside my own head, and this journal is damning evidence of that. Maybe I’ll throw it into the sea when I’m done with it. Or toss it into the fire. If Mia found it she’d rip me a new one about how I have to  _ move on _ and  _ live a better life because that’s what you’d want _ and blah, blah. I’ve heard it all before from all of them. Doesn’t matter. 

There’s one thing that I can’t get over, and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna bug me forever. 

Which part of me wasn’t enough?

“ _ Erik, this isn’t about you _ .” 

That’s what you said to me the night before you left. The first time we ever fought. The first time you ever raised your voice at me and I raised it right back. I know I was being selfish then and I’m still being selfish now, a year later. But I can’t stop thinking about how you always told me I was everything you ever needed. How I was the thing keeping you grounded, keeping you sane. 

Keeping you happy. 

But then you turned around and left. How does that make any sense? I know there’s another me in whatever time you ended up in. If you even made it there at all. 

I hate him. I hate that bastard. He doesn’t even  _ know _ you. He doesn’t know what you’ve been through. And he’ll never understand. He’ll love you all the same because he has to. He’s me, right? 

But it’s just not fair.  _ We  _ went through the end of the world together.  _ I _ deserve to be the one that holds you in the middle of the night when the nightmares are too much. When the scars ache.

Not him.  _ Fuck  _ him.

Veronica better realize how much you gave up for her. She better appreciate it. And if somehow I ever see her again, I’ll make sure she knows it, too.

I can’t even read what I just fuckin’ wrote. Too many tears making the ink run, dammit. It’s all over my hand.

This is the last time I’m writing to you. I feel kind of crazy writing in a journal to my time-traveling boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend? I don’t know, man. I didn’t end things. Technically you didn’t either, but it still feels like you did. 

Either way, I have to move on before everyone drags me there by my hair. I’m sorry, El. I’m sorry things couldn’t work out for us, but I guess that’s what I get for falling in love with the Luminary. My bad, Yggie.

I won’t ever forget you. My mind won’t let me. 

Another time, another place, maybe. I’ll hold out until the end of time like an idiot, but for now...

Goodbye, El.

**Author's Note:**

> Man, the end of Act 2 still makes me so sad D:  
> tumblr: omgitsaddyc  
> twitter: @Addyisamess
> 
> come yell at me if you please >:D


End file.
